The Seven Fundamentals of Happiness and Success

What is success? Have you ever wondered why it is				said
that for				Pythagoras. In order to love others, we must first love
some, everything works, and for others, nothing
works? Why				ourselves. We cannot pour from an empty
is it that two people can have essentially the same				container.Contemporary studies of behavioral
opportunities, but one person be happy and the other				dysfunctions ranging
one				from learning difficulties to criminal activity indicate one
miserable? Is it not, therefore, happiness that
constitutes				common denominator: low self-esteem. Low
the true meaning of success?Success is happiness!				self-esteem
Truly successful people are happy,				grows out of fear of rejection -- rejection by a loved
and when you are happy and whole in yourself, all				one, an
good				employer, a stranger, anyone who might laugh at our
things follow. Where then do happiness and				efforts
wholeness				or who would misunderstand or disapprove. On the
come from? How does a person who experiences				other
frustrations in life become whole? Can personal				hand, high self-esteem grows out of self-acceptance.
wholeness				Self-acceptance is self-love. Self-esteem comes
provide happiness, improve self-esteem, and lead to				from
riches				self-love. We cannot love anyone unless we love
and fame, peace balance and harmony? Can				ourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 5The fifth fundamental is
relationships				that acceptance is mastery. Loving
with family, friends and associates be improved				unconditionally suggests accepting others as they are.
because
one person assumes the responsibility to be				Furthermore, loving unconditionally suggests accepting
personally				yourself as a whole and complete being on the
whole, takes the initiative to exude joy and happiness,				journey of
seizes the opportunity to empower his or her own life				learning we call life.Acceptance, love, and forgiveness
by				are as necessarily
using the secret of the ages? The answers to all				interrelated as each side of a triangle is to the triangle
these				as a
questions lie in the seven fundamentals of the master				whole. Acceptance is the natural process we knew
secret.FUNDAMENTAL 1The first fundamental is you				as
- the absolutely awesome and				children. When light faded into night, each of us
incredible you! Not the you of self-doubt, not the you				accepted
that				that this just was the way it worked, and we learned
fears rejection or failure, not the you that questions				to live
your				accordingly. As we grew older we began to
abilities, but the real you! Those other "yous" are not				manipulate our
you.				world by means of electricity. Some things in the
They are synthetic yous built upon limited and false				world can
notions				and even should be manipulated to our benefit --
of who you are and what you may become. For				turning the
most of us				dark into a bright space by flipping a light switch may
those false notions originate as we mature. In our				be one
very early				of them. But there are other elements in our
attempts to achieve acceptance, we often trade off				environment
our real				over which we have absolutely no control, nor should
selves. The desire to be loved is so strong that many				we.
of us				Attempting to change other people into what we
give up love or respect for ourselves in order to				want them
obtain				to be by manipulating them is what many of us have
security. That trade-off never works, because what				spent
we are				our lives doing.The best way in which each of us can
insecure about in the first place exists within				influence our
ourselves.Happiness is a state of mind. The kingdom is				environment is in our presence of being. When we
within. The				accept
real you is a higher you, a higher power that resides				other people for who and what they are, we have
within				taken the
you or is available to you whenever you ask or seek.				first step toward accepting ourselves and contributing
The fact				to the
is, it is your birthright to manifest the glory of the				improvement of any condition or situation. Krishnamurti
incredible
you. You absolutely have the power and ability to				once stated that "you are the world." When we
experience				reflect peace
all the bounties of life, to experience many literal				and joy from an inner level of being, the world mirrors
miracles in				it back
your life -- for you yourself are a miracle, and all that				to us. When we judge, condemn, hate, lust, and so on,
you are				the
or can ever be is a gift!So the first fundamental is you.				world shows us these qualities. The world is a mirror,
The power resides within				for
you. No one else can do it for you. Your thoughts are				the principal function of the world is to provide us the
reflections of your expectations. What has been				opportunity to learn.What we resist we often become.
sown in				What we like least in
your subconscious mind is what you reap. Doubt				another is almost always a reflection of something in
produces				ourselves. When we love and accept ourselves, we
failure, fear yields anger, and belief in limitation is the				love and
greatest of all self-fulfilling prophecies.FUNDAMENTAL				accept others. Each individual who comes into our
2The second fundamental is that thoughts are things.				lives is a
The				teacher. Each has something to contribute to our
thoughts we have reveal the beliefs we have about				learning.
ourselves.Listen to how we talk to ourselves. Is the				We in turn have something to contribute to their
language from the				learning.
inside reflecting optimism, or is it filled with negative				When viewed from this perspective, our every
and				transaction
self-limiting ideas?What you expect is what you get.				with another individual transcends the limitations of
Science refers to this				manipulation.The fifth fundamental has been called the
phenomenon as the Pygmalion effect. It is a fact: if				Golden Rule.
you				Treat others as though they were you, and treat
expect the worst, you get it. And some of us must				according to
love it,				the best you there is, and the rest just happens. What
because we keep on getting it! Oh, we may complain				goes
about				out is what you get back. Just as the story in the Bible
it, we may yell and scream when it happens, but what				of the
do				prodigal son teaches us that God has already
most of us do about it? Most of us speak and act as				accepted and
though				forgiven us, so this fundamental suggests that for
there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. After				many of
all, isn't				us the least of our brothers and sisters has been
life full of "normal" events that produce "normal"				ourselves!
responses?				Accepting and loving ourselves provides the ability to
Isn't it normal to become angry for being cut off in five				accept
o'clock				and love others, just as accepting and loving others
traffic? Isn't it normal to become fearful when the				provides the ability to accept and love
boss				ourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 6Martin Luther King once
speaks harshly? Isn't it normal to be frustrated with a				said, "I can never be what I ought to
child's				be until you are what you ought to be, and you can
lack of respect or self-responsibility? Isn't it normal to				never be
become stuck or just fed up?Such reactions may be				what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be."
normal, but are they appropriate or				He went
conducive to happiness? Has anger ever produced a				on to say that the mutually related network of reality
peaceful sense of harmony within you? Has it ever				is the
solved a				fabric of the human condition.The sixth fundamental,
problem or led to anything other than more anger, guilt,				then, is interdependence, the
and				principle that each of us is an aspect of the whole.
feelings of being out of control? Such reactions may				Each of
be				us invites respect or disrespect according to what we
normal, but another word for normal is average, which				give
can				others, all others. Down through the ages this concept
be defined as the best of the worst and the worst of				has
the best.				been given many labels, including the popular label
Neither end of this definition is the highest best of who				karma.
you				In law it is called reciprocity. What we sow is indeed
really are.You are your thoughts. You manifest your				what
thoughts, your				we reap.Interdependence means individually assuming
subconscious beliefs, in everything you experience. Do				responsibility for any condition that is contrary to the
you				quality
believe you deserve happiness, wholeness, and				of humanness in its highest form and then acting to
success?				produce, out of the condition or situation, balance and
You must truly know at all levels of your being that all				harmony for all. That is not to say that we take up
good				causes
things are yours in order for them ever to be yours.				and then shove them down someone else's throat. It
You				is to
create your own realities. Events are not pivotal points				say that we can work in harmony through example
in				and right
your life, you are the pivotal point in your life. When				action to produce an environment that is loving and
your				nurturing for all.Many people operate in a codependent
thoughts are in agreement with your desires, your				manner. Their
desires				method of assuming responsibility is to manipulate
will magically materialize.FUNDAMENTAL 3The third				others
fundamental is to forgive and let go. That idea may				by placing blame, finding fault, or assuming a
be a bit startling at first, but think about it for a minute.				contractual
Do				posture that goes like this: "If I do this, will you...?" or, "If
you consider yourself to be a victim? A victim of your				you
				loved me, you would..." or, "Don't you feel sorry that I
circumstances? Or are you willing to assume				feel..."
responsibility				or, "You need me to...," and so on. Codependence is
for who you are? There are two ways to be tied up				manipulating another person to provide you with
in the				security,
world. One is to be tied, literally, by someone else and				sensation, and power. If someone else cannot live or
the				function without you, then your self-worth has been
other is to tie yourself, figuratively, by refusing to let go				validated
of				-- and vice versa. A codependent is a victim, a victim
beliefs that limit your expression of the whole and				both of
complete				his or her surroundings and of other people. The need
being you are. In other words, as long as you displace				to
responsibility by blaming someone or something for				control another person is a classic symptom of
who				codependency. Codependency grows out of
and what you are, you remove from yourself the				insecurity. All
power to be				insecurities are externally oriented. The codependent
anything other than partial and incomplete.All behavior				sees
is the result of choice. Sometimes our choices				stimuli through the lens of expectation. Expectation is
are made at an unconscious or a subconscious level.				a
For				contract that goes like this: "I will behave this way, if
example, we choose to avoid conflict by repressing				you
our true				behave this way;" or, "If you behave that way, I will
feelings. Later our true feelings become so strong that				behave
we				that way." The fear of unfulfilled expectations gives
can no longer suppress them, and some small incident				rise to
				internal conflict.Happiness is a state of being. It exists
triggers an overkill response. That is a reactive model				moment to moment
-- we				in the eternal now. If happiness doesn't exist, conflict
have lost control. When we assume responsibility for				takes
every				its place -- even if the conflict is only the difference
aspect of our lives, we get in touch with our deepest				between
fears				what we think we should be experiencing and we are
and feelings. The power we gain over our former,
reactive				experiencing. In other words, when we have what we
behavior, provides us with the ability to respond				desire,
appropriately to all stimuli. That is a proactive model --				we experience joy. Furthermore, when what we
we				experience
are always in control.It has been said that the highest				is unconditional, as opposed to contractual, then we
act of consciousness is				experience only joy.Insecurity fuels fear, and fear is a
inhibition - inhibition of animal stimulus-response				very creative force. What
conditioning. When we accept responsibility for our				we fear most is therefore very often what we
every				create as our
thought and action, we empower ourselves by				experience. Instead of accepting what is, we project
performing				what
the highest act of consciousness: inhibiting the animal				might be or lament what might have been. We are
stimulus-response reaction. But that means we no				responsible only for ourselves individually. We must be
longer
have anyone to blame.In fact, as long as we blame,				whole before any event in our lives will be. Therefore,
we effectively eliminate our				true
ability to grow, to be in control, or to experience				interdependence assumes the role of "fixing"
peace,				oneself.FUNDAMENTAL 7The seventh fundamental is
balance, and harmony. Power to grow resides in				the culmination of all the
forgiveness. Forgiving and letting go will set us free.				fundamentals of success. That culminating principle is
Forgiving everyone, including ourselves, provides the				this:
opportunity to become more than we have been,				Do it now. This is a world of action, not procrastination.
which for				For
many is but a mere shadow of our real selves. And				anything to change, you must do the changing. Nothing
the irony
of all this is that most of us know that we are much				happens until you make it happen! Only you can do it
more				for you.If the world was a world of theory, then none
than we have acted out our lives to				of us would be
be!FUNDAMENTAL 4The most powerful force in the				here. Nothing in this world stands still or waits. No
world is love. Love cancels				action is
fear. Fear is the only obstacle that must be overcome				inaction and all inaction is action. The form and the
in				function
order for all of our experiences to take on new				are the same. Live with the awareness that God's
dimensions				presence
of meaning and joy. This love is not romantic love				exists in all!(Note: This article was originally published in
between				MIND BODY
lovers but the unconditional love that we give our				SPIRIT).Eldon Taylor, Ph.D. is the author of over 400
children.				books, tapes
We are all children in some relative stage of				and videos ( His work in personal
development,				empowerment led to receiving the coveted
learning how to live in joy and happiness. When we				International
truly				Peace Prize awarded by The United Cultural
understand this truth, it becomes easy to forgive				Convention in
another of				2005. He is currently the director of Progressive
acts that are selfish and self-centered -- and forgive				Awareness
ourselves, as well. "Above all else, respect thyself,"				Research.

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The Seven Fundamentals of Happiness and Success

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