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The Seven Fundamentals of Happiness and Success

What is success? Have you ever wondered ourselves, as well. "Above all else,
why it is that for respect thyself," said
some, everything works, and for others, Pythagoras. In order to love others, we
nothing works? Why must first love
is it that two people can have ourselves. We cannot pour from an empty
essentially the same container.Contemporary studies of
opportunities, but one person be happy behavioral dysfunctions ranging
and the other one from learning difficulties to criminal
miserable? Is it not, therefore, activity indicate one
happiness that constitutes common denominator: low self-esteem. Low
the true meaning of success?Success is self-esteem
happiness! Truly successful people are grows out of fear of rejection --
happy, rejection by a loved one, an
and when you are happy and whole in employer, a stranger, anyone who might
yourself, all good laugh at our efforts
things follow. Where then do happiness or who would misunderstand or
and wholeness disapprove. On the other
come from? How does a person who hand, high self-esteem grows out of
experiences self-acceptance.
frustrations in life become whole? Can Self-acceptance is self-love.
personal wholeness Self-esteem comes from
provide happiness, improve self-esteem, self-love. We cannot love anyone unless
and lead to riches we love ourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 5The fifth
and fame, peace balance and harmony? Can fundamental is that acceptance is
relationships mastery. Loving
with family, friends and associates be unconditionally suggests accepting
improved because others as they are.
one person assumes the responsibility to Furthermore, loving unconditionally
be personally suggests accepting
whole, takes the initiative to exude joy yourself as a whole and complete being
and happiness, on the journey of
seizes the opportunity to empower his or learning we call life.Acceptance, love,
her own life by and forgiveness are as necessarily
using the secret of the ages? The interrelated as each side of a triangle
answers to all these is to the triangle as a
questions lie in the seven fundamentals whole. Acceptance is the natural process
of the master we knew as
secret.FUNDAMENTAL 1The first children. When light faded into night,
fundamental is you - the absolutely each of us accepted
awesome and that this just was the way it worked,
incredible you! Not the you of and we learned to live
self-doubt, not the you that accordingly. As we grew older we began
fears rejection or failure, not the you to manipulate our
that questions your world by means of electricity. Some
abilities, but the real you! Those other things in the world can
"yous" are not you. and even should be manipulated to our
They are synthetic yous built upon benefit -- turning the
limited and false notions dark into a bright space by flipping a
of who you are and what you may become. light switch may be one
For most of us of them. But there are other elements in
those false notions originate as we our environment
mature. In our very early over which we have absolutely no
attempts to achieve acceptance, we often control, nor should we.
trade off our real Attempting to change other people into
selves. The desire to be loved is so what we want them
strong that many of us to be by manipulating them is what many
give up love or respect for ourselves in of us have spent
order to obtain our lives doing.The best way in which
security. That trade-off never works, each of us can influence our
because what we are environment is in our presence of being.
insecure about in the first place exists When we accept
within ourselves.Happiness is a state of other people for who and what they are,
mind. The kingdom is within. The we have taken the
real you is a higher you, a higher power first step toward accepting ourselves
that resides within and contributing to the
you or is available to you whenever you improvement of any condition or
ask or seek. The fact situation. Krishnamurti
is, it is your birthright to manifest once stated that "you are the world."
the glory of the incredible When we reflect peace
you. You absolutely have the power and and joy from an inner level of being,
ability to experience the world mirrors it back
all the bounties of life, to experience to us. When we judge, condemn, hate,
many literal miracles in lust, and so on, the
your life -- for you yourself are a world shows us these qualities. The
miracle, and all that you are world is a mirror, for
or can ever be is a gift!So the first the principal function of the world is
fundamental is you. The power resides to provide us the
within opportunity to learn.What we resist we
you. No one else can do it for you. Your often become. What we like least in
thoughts are another is almost always a reflection of
reflections of your expectations. What something in
has been sown in ourselves. When we love and accept
your subconscious mind is what you reap. ourselves, we love and
Doubt produces accept others. Each individual who comes
failure, fear yields anger, and belief into our lives is a
in limitation is the teacher. Each has something to
greatest of all self-fulfilling contribute to our learning.
prophecies.FUNDAMENTAL 2The second We in turn have something to contribute
fundamental is that thoughts are things. to their learning.
The When viewed from this perspective, our
thoughts we have reveal the beliefs we every transaction
have about with another individual transcends the
ourselves.Listen to how we talk to limitations of
ourselves. Is the language from the manipulation.The fifth fundamental has
inside reflecting optimism, or is it been called the Golden Rule.
filled with negative and Treat others as though they were you,
self-limiting ideas?What you expect is and treat according to
what you get. Science refers to this the best you there is, and the rest just
phenomenon as the Pygmalion effect. It happens. What goes
is a fact: if you out is what you get back. Just as the
expect the worst, you get it. And some story in the Bible of the
of us must love it, prodigal son teaches us that God has
because we keep on getting it! Oh, we already accepted and
may complain about forgiven us, so this fundamental
it, we may yell and scream when it suggests that for many of
happens, but what do us the least of our brothers and sisters
most of us do about it? Most of us speak has been ourselves!
and act as though Accepting and loving ourselves provides
there is absolutely nothing we can do the ability to accept
about it. After all, isn't and love others, just as accepting and
life full of "normal" events that loving others
produce "normal" responses? provides the ability to accept and love
Isn't it normal to become angry for ourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 6Martin Luther King
being cut off in five o'clock once said, "I can never be what I ought
traffic? Isn't it normal to become to
fearful when the boss be until you are what you ought to be,
speaks harshly? Isn't it normal to be and you can never be
frustrated with a child's what you ought to be until I am what I
lack of respect or self-responsibility? ought to be." He went
Isn't it normal to on to say that the mutually related
become stuck or just fed up?Such network of reality is the
reactions may be normal, but are they fabric of the human condition.The sixth
appropriate or fundamental, then, is interdependence,
conducive to happiness? Has anger ever the
produced a principle that each of us is an aspect
peaceful sense of harmony within you? of the whole. Each of
Has it ever solved a us invites respect or disrespect
problem or led to anything other than according to what we give
more anger, guilt, and others, all others. Down through the
feelings of being out of control? Such ages this concept has
reactions may be been given many labels, including the
normal, but another word for normal is popular label karma.
average, which can In law it is called reciprocity. What we
be defined as the best of the worst and sow is indeed what
the worst of the best. we reap.Interdependence means
Neither end of this definition is the individually assuming
highest best of who you responsibility for any condition that is
really are.You are your thoughts. You contrary to the quality
manifest your thoughts, your of humanness in its highest form and
subconscious beliefs, in everything you then acting to
experience. Do you produce, out of the condition or
believe you deserve happiness, situation, balance and
wholeness, and success? harmony for all. That is not to say that
You must truly know at all levels of we take up causes
your being that all good and then shove them down someone else's
things are yours in order for them ever throat. It is to
to be yours. You say that we can work in harmony through
create your own realities. Events are example and right
not pivotal points in action to produce an environment that is
your life, you are the pivotal point in loving and
your life. When your nurturing for all.Many people operate in
thoughts are in agreement with your a codependent manner. Their
desires, your desires method of assuming responsibility is to
will magically materialize.FUNDAMENTAL manipulate others
3The third fundamental is to forgive and by placing blame, finding fault, or
let go. That idea may assuming a contractual
be a bit startling at first, but think posture that goes like this: "If I do
about it for a minute. Do this, will you...?" or, "If you
you consider yourself to be a victim? A loved me, you would..." or, "Don't you
victim of your feel sorry that I feel..."
circumstances? Or are you willing to or, "You need me to...," and so on.
assume responsibility Codependence is
for who you are? There are two ways to manipulating another person to provide
be tied up in the you with security,
world. One is to be tied, literally, by sensation, and power. If someone else
someone else and the cannot live or
other is to tie yourself, figuratively, function without you, then your
by refusing to let go of self-worth has been validated
beliefs that limit your expression of -- and vice versa. A codependent is a
the whole and complete victim, a victim both of
being you are. In other words, as long his or her surroundings and of other
as you displace people. The need to
responsibility by blaming someone or control another person is a classic
something for who symptom of
and what you are, you remove from codependency. Codependency grows out of
yourself the power to be insecurity. All
anything other than partial and insecurities are externally oriented.
incomplete.All behavior is the result of The codependent sees
choice. Sometimes our choices stimuli through the lens of expectation.
are made at an unconscious or a Expectation is a
subconscious level. For contract that goes like this: "I will
example, we choose to avoid conflict by behave this way, if you
repressing our true behave this way;" or, "If you behave
feelings. Later our true feelings become that way, I will behave
so strong that we that way." The fear of unfulfilled
can no longer suppress them, and some expectations gives rise to
small incident internal conflict.Happiness is a state
triggers an overkill response. That is a of being. It exists moment to moment
reactive model -- we in the eternal now. If happiness doesn't
have lost control. When we assume exist, conflict takes
responsibility for every its place -- even if the conflict is
aspect of our lives, we get in touch only the difference between
with our deepest fears what we think we should be experiencing
and feelings. The power we gain over our and we are
former, reactive experiencing. In other words, when we
behavior, provides us with the ability have what we desire,
to respond we experience joy. Furthermore, when
appropriately to all stimuli. That is a what we experience
proactive model -- we is unconditional, as opposed to
are always in control.It has been said contractual, then we
that the highest act of consciousness is experience only joy.Insecurity fuels
inhibition - inhibition of animal fear, and fear is a very creative force.
stimulus-response What
conditioning. When we accept we fear most is therefore very often
responsibility for our every what we create as our
thought and action, we empower ourselves experience. Instead of accepting what
by performing is, we project what
the highest act of consciousness: might be or lament what might have been.
inhibiting the animal We are
stimulus-response reaction. But that responsible only for ourselves
means we no longer individually. We must be
have anyone to blame.In fact, as long as whole before any event in our lives will
we blame, we effectively eliminate our be. Therefore, true
ability to grow, to be in control, or to interdependence assumes the role of
experience peace, "fixing" oneself.FUNDAMENTAL 7The seventh
balance, and harmony. Power to grow fundamental is the culmination of all the
resides in
forgiveness. Forgiving and letting go fundamentals of success. That
will set us free. culminating principle is this:
Forgiving everyone, including ourselves, Do it now. This is a world of action,
provides the not procrastination. For
opportunity to become more than we have anything to change, you must do the
been, which for changing. Nothing
many is but a mere shadow of our real happens until you make it happen! Only
selves. And the irony you can do it for you.If the world was a
of all this is that most of us know that world of theory, then none of us would be
we are much more
than we have acted out our lives to here. Nothing in this world stands still
be!FUNDAMENTAL 4The most powerful force or waits. No action is
in the world is love. Love cancels inaction and all inaction is action. The
fear. Fear is the only obstacle that form and the function
must be overcome in are the same. Live with the awareness
order for all of our experiences to take that God's presence
on new dimensions exists in all!(Note: This article was
of meaning and joy. This love is not originally published in MIND BODY
romantic love between SPIRIT).Eldon Taylor, Ph.D. is the
lovers but the unconditional love that author of over 400 books, tapes
we give our children. and videos ( His work in personal
We are all children in some relative empowerment led to receiving the coveted
stage of development, International
learning how to live in joy and Peace Prize awarded by The United
happiness. When we truly Cultural Convention in
understand this truth, it becomes easy 2005. He is currently the director of
to forgive another of Progressive Awareness
acts that are selfish and self-centered Research.
-- and forgive




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