The Seven Fundamentals of Happiness and Success

What is success? Have you ever wondered why it issaid
that forPythagoras. In order to love others, we must first love
some, everything works, and for others, nothing
works? Whyourselves. We cannot pour from an empty
is it that two people can have essentially the samecontainer.Contemporary studies of behavioral
opportunities, but one person be happy and the otherdysfunctions ranging
onefrom learning difficulties to criminal activity indicate one
miserable? Is it not, therefore, happiness that
constitutescommon denominator: low self-esteem. Low
the true meaning of success?Success is happiness!self-esteem
Truly successful people are happy,grows out of fear of rejection -- rejection by a loved
and when you are happy and whole in yourself, allone, an
goodemployer, a stranger, anyone who might laugh at our
things follow. Where then do happiness andefforts
wholenessor who would misunderstand or disapprove. On the
come from? How does a person who experiencesother
frustrations in life become whole? Can personalhand, high self-esteem grows out of self-acceptance.
wholenessSelf-acceptance is self-love. Self-esteem comes
provide happiness, improve self-esteem, and lead tofrom
richesself-love. We cannot love anyone unless we love
and fame, peace balance and harmony? Canourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 5The fifth fundamental is
relationshipsthat acceptance is mastery. Loving
with family, friends and associates be improvedunconditionally suggests accepting others as they are.
because
one person assumes the responsibility to beFurthermore, loving unconditionally suggests accepting
personallyyourself as a whole and complete being on the
whole, takes the initiative to exude joy and happiness,journey of
seizes the opportunity to empower his or her own lifelearning we call life.Acceptance, love, and forgiveness
byare as necessarily
using the secret of the ages? The answers to allinterrelated as each side of a triangle is to the triangle
theseas a
questions lie in the seven fundamentals of the masterwhole. Acceptance is the natural process we knew
secret.FUNDAMENTAL 1The first fundamental is youas
- the absolutely awesome andchildren. When light faded into night, each of us
incredible you! Not the you of self-doubt, not the youaccepted
thatthat this just was the way it worked, and we learned
fears rejection or failure, not the you that questionsto live
youraccordingly. As we grew older we began to
abilities, but the real you! Those other "yous" are notmanipulate our
you.world by means of electricity. Some things in the
They are synthetic yous built upon limited and falseworld can
notionsand even should be manipulated to our benefit --
of who you are and what you may become. Forturning the
most of usdark into a bright space by flipping a light switch may
those false notions originate as we mature. In ourbe one
very earlyof them. But there are other elements in our
attempts to achieve acceptance, we often trade offenvironment
our realover which we have absolutely no control, nor should
selves. The desire to be loved is so strong that manywe.
of usAttempting to change other people into what we
give up love or respect for ourselves in order towant them
obtainto be by manipulating them is what many of us have
security. That trade-off never works, because whatspent
we areour lives doing.The best way in which each of us can
insecure about in the first place exists withininfluence our
ourselves.Happiness is a state of mind. The kingdom isenvironment is in our presence of being. When we
within. Theaccept
real you is a higher you, a higher power that residesother people for who and what they are, we have
withintaken the
you or is available to you whenever you ask or seek.first step toward accepting ourselves and contributing
The factto the
is, it is your birthright to manifest the glory of theimprovement of any condition or situation. Krishnamurti
incredible
you. You absolutely have the power and ability toonce stated that "you are the world." When we
experiencereflect peace
all the bounties of life, to experience many literaland joy from an inner level of being, the world mirrors
miracles init back
your life -- for you yourself are a miracle, and all thatto us. When we judge, condemn, hate, lust, and so on,
you arethe
or can ever be is a gift!So the first fundamental is you.world shows us these qualities. The world is a mirror,
The power resides withinfor
you. No one else can do it for you. Your thoughts arethe principal function of the world is to provide us the
reflections of your expectations. What has beenopportunity to learn.What we resist we often become.
sown inWhat we like least in
your subconscious mind is what you reap. Doubtanother is almost always a reflection of something in
producesourselves. When we love and accept ourselves, we
failure, fear yields anger, and belief in limitation is thelove and
greatest of all self-fulfilling prophecies.FUNDAMENTALaccept others. Each individual who comes into our
2The second fundamental is that thoughts are things.lives is a
Theteacher. Each has something to contribute to our
thoughts we have reveal the beliefs we have aboutlearning.
ourselves.Listen to how we talk to ourselves. Is theWe in turn have something to contribute to their
language from thelearning.
inside reflecting optimism, or is it filled with negativeWhen viewed from this perspective, our every
andtransaction
self-limiting ideas?What you expect is what you get.with another individual transcends the limitations of
Science refers to thismanipulation.The fifth fundamental has been called the
phenomenon as the Pygmalion effect. It is a fact: ifGolden Rule.
youTreat others as though they were you, and treat
expect the worst, you get it. And some of us mustaccording to
love it,the best you there is, and the rest just happens. What
because we keep on getting it! Oh, we may complaingoes
aboutout is what you get back. Just as the story in the Bible
it, we may yell and scream when it happens, but whatof the
doprodigal son teaches us that God has already
most of us do about it? Most of us speak and act asaccepted and
thoughforgiven us, so this fundamental suggests that for
there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. Aftermany of
all, isn'tus the least of our brothers and sisters has been
life full of "normal" events that produce "normal"ourselves!
responses?Accepting and loving ourselves provides the ability to
Isn't it normal to become angry for being cut off in fiveaccept
o'clockand love others, just as accepting and loving others
traffic? Isn't it normal to become fearful when theprovides the ability to accept and love
bossourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 6Martin Luther King once
speaks harshly? Isn't it normal to be frustrated with asaid, "I can never be what I ought to
child'sbe until you are what you ought to be, and you can
lack of respect or self-responsibility? Isn't it normal tonever be
become stuck or just fed up?Such reactions may bewhat you ought to be until I am what I ought to be."
normal, but are they appropriate orHe went
conducive to happiness? Has anger ever produced aon to say that the mutually related network of reality
peaceful sense of harmony within you? Has it everis the
solved afabric of the human condition.The sixth fundamental,
problem or led to anything other than more anger, guilt,then, is interdependence, the
andprinciple that each of us is an aspect of the whole.
feelings of being out of control? Such reactions mayEach of
beus invites respect or disrespect according to what we
normal, but another word for normal is average, whichgive
canothers, all others. Down through the ages this concept
be defined as the best of the worst and the worst ofhas
the best.been given many labels, including the popular label
Neither end of this definition is the highest best of whokarma.
youIn law it is called reciprocity. What we sow is indeed
really are.You are your thoughts. You manifest yourwhat
thoughts, yourwe reap.Interdependence means individually assuming
subconscious beliefs, in everything you experience. Doresponsibility for any condition that is contrary to the
youquality
believe you deserve happiness, wholeness, andof humanness in its highest form and then acting to
success?produce, out of the condition or situation, balance and
You must truly know at all levels of your being that allharmony for all. That is not to say that we take up
goodcauses
things are yours in order for them ever to be yours.and then shove them down someone else's throat. It
Youis to
create your own realities. Events are not pivotal pointssay that we can work in harmony through example
inand right
your life, you are the pivotal point in your life. Whenaction to produce an environment that is loving and
yournurturing for all.Many people operate in a codependent
thoughts are in agreement with your desires, yourmanner. Their
desiresmethod of assuming responsibility is to manipulate
will magically materialize.FUNDAMENTAL 3The thirdothers
fundamental is to forgive and let go. That idea mayby placing blame, finding fault, or assuming a
be a bit startling at first, but think about it for a minute.contractual
Doposture that goes like this: "If I do this, will you...?" or, "If
you consider yourself to be a victim? A victim of youryou
loved me, you would..." or, "Don't you feel sorry that I
circumstances? Or are you willing to assumefeel..."
responsibilityor, "You need me to...," and so on. Codependence is
for who you are? There are two ways to be tied upmanipulating another person to provide you with
in thesecurity,
world. One is to be tied, literally, by someone else andsensation, and power. If someone else cannot live or
thefunction without you, then your self-worth has been
other is to tie yourself, figuratively, by refusing to let govalidated
of-- and vice versa. A codependent is a victim, a victim
beliefs that limit your expression of the whole andboth of
completehis or her surroundings and of other people. The need
being you are. In other words, as long as you displaceto
responsibility by blaming someone or something forcontrol another person is a classic symptom of
whocodependency. Codependency grows out of
and what you are, you remove from yourself theinsecurity. All
power to beinsecurities are externally oriented. The codependent
anything other than partial and incomplete.All behaviorsees
is the result of choice. Sometimes our choicesstimuli through the lens of expectation. Expectation is
are made at an unconscious or a subconscious level.a
Forcontract that goes like this: "I will behave this way, if
example, we choose to avoid conflict by repressingyou
our truebehave this way;" or, "If you behave that way, I will
feelings. Later our true feelings become so strong thatbehave
wethat way." The fear of unfulfilled expectations gives
can no longer suppress them, and some small incidentrise to
internal conflict.Happiness is a state of being. It exists
triggers an overkill response. That is a reactive modelmoment to moment
-- wein the eternal now. If happiness doesn't exist, conflict
have lost control. When we assume responsibility fortakes
everyits place -- even if the conflict is only the difference
aspect of our lives, we get in touch with our deepestbetween
fearswhat we think we should be experiencing and we are
and feelings. The power we gain over our former,
reactiveexperiencing. In other words, when we have what we
behavior, provides us with the ability to responddesire,
appropriately to all stimuli. That is a proactive model --we experience joy. Furthermore, when what we
weexperience
are always in control.It has been said that the highestis unconditional, as opposed to contractual, then we
act of consciousness isexperience only joy.Insecurity fuels fear, and fear is a
inhibition - inhibition of animal stimulus-responsevery creative force. What
conditioning. When we accept responsibility for ourwe fear most is therefore very often what we
everycreate as our
thought and action, we empower ourselves byexperience. Instead of accepting what is, we project
performingwhat
the highest act of consciousness: inhibiting the animalmight be or lament what might have been. We are
stimulus-response reaction. But that means we noresponsible only for ourselves individually. We must be
longer
have anyone to blame.In fact, as long as we blame,whole before any event in our lives will be. Therefore,
we effectively eliminate ourtrue
ability to grow, to be in control, or to experienceinterdependence assumes the role of "fixing"
peace,oneself.FUNDAMENTAL 7The seventh fundamental is
balance, and harmony. Power to grow resides inthe culmination of all the
forgiveness. Forgiving and letting go will set us free.fundamentals of success. That culminating principle is
Forgiving everyone, including ourselves, provides thethis:
opportunity to become more than we have been,Do it now. This is a world of action, not procrastination.
which forFor
many is but a mere shadow of our real selves. Andanything to change, you must do the changing. Nothing
the irony
of all this is that most of us know that we are muchhappens until you make it happen! Only you can do it
morefor you.If the world was a world of theory, then none
than we have acted out our lives toof us would be
be!FUNDAMENTAL 4The most powerful force in thehere. Nothing in this world stands still or waits. No
world is love. Love cancelsaction is
fear. Fear is the only obstacle that must be overcomeinaction and all inaction is action. The form and the
infunction
order for all of our experiences to take on neware the same. Live with the awareness that God's
dimensionspresence
of meaning and joy. This love is not romantic loveexists in all!(Note: This article was originally published in
betweenMIND BODY
lovers but the unconditional love that we give ourSPIRIT).Eldon Taylor, Ph.D. is the author of over 400
children.books, tapes
We are all children in some relative stage ofand videos ( His work in personal
development,empowerment led to receiving the coveted
learning how to live in joy and happiness. When weInternational
trulyPeace Prize awarded by The United Cultural
understand this truth, it becomes easy to forgiveConvention in
another of2005. He is currently the director of Progressive
acts that are selfish and self-centered -- and forgiveAwareness
ourselves, as well. "Above all else, respect thyself,"Research.