| What is success? Have you ever wondered
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| | ourselves, as well. "Above all else,
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| why it is that for
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| | respect thyself," said
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| some, everything works, and for others,
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| | Pythagoras. In order to love others, we
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| nothing works? Why
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| | must first love
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| is it that two people can have
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| | ourselves. We cannot pour from an empty
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| essentially the same
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| | container.Contemporary studies of
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| opportunities, but one person be happy
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| | behavioral dysfunctions ranging
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| and the other one
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| | from learning difficulties to criminal
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| miserable? Is it not, therefore,
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| | activity indicate one
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| happiness that constitutes
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| | common denominator: low self-esteem. Low
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| the true meaning of success?Success is
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| | self-esteem
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| happiness! Truly successful people are
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| | grows out of fear of rejection --
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| happy,
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| | rejection by a loved one, an
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| and when you are happy and whole in
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| | employer, a stranger, anyone who might
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| yourself, all good
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| | laugh at our efforts
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| things follow. Where then do happiness
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| | or who would misunderstand or
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| and wholeness
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| | disapprove. On the other
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| come from? How does a person who
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| | hand, high self-esteem grows out of
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| experiences
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| | self-acceptance.
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| frustrations in life become whole? Can
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| | Self-acceptance is self-love.
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| personal wholeness
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| | Self-esteem comes from
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| provide happiness, improve self-esteem,
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| | self-love. We cannot love anyone unless
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| and lead to riches
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| | we love ourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 5The fifth
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| and fame, peace balance and harmony? Can
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| | fundamental is that acceptance is
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| relationships
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| | mastery. Loving
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| with family, friends and associates be
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| | unconditionally suggests accepting
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| improved because
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| | others as they are.
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| one person assumes the responsibility to
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| | Furthermore, loving unconditionally
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| be personally
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| | suggests accepting
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| whole, takes the initiative to exude joy
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| | yourself as a whole and complete being
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| and happiness,
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| | on the journey of
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| seizes the opportunity to empower his or
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| | learning we call life.Acceptance, love,
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| her own life by
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| | and forgiveness are as necessarily
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| using the secret of the ages? The
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| | interrelated as each side of a triangle
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| answers to all these
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| | is to the triangle as a
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| questions lie in the seven fundamentals
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| | whole. Acceptance is the natural process
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| of the master
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| | we knew as
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| secret.FUNDAMENTAL 1The first
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| | children. When light faded into night,
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| fundamental is you - the absolutely
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| | each of us accepted
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| awesome and
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| | that this just was the way it worked,
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| incredible you! Not the you of
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| | and we learned to live
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| self-doubt, not the you that
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| | accordingly. As we grew older we began
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| fears rejection or failure, not the you
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| | to manipulate our
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| that questions your
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| | world by means of electricity. Some
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| abilities, but the real you! Those other
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| | things in the world can
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| "yous" are not you.
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| | and even should be manipulated to our
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| They are synthetic yous built upon
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| | benefit -- turning the
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| limited and false notions
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| | dark into a bright space by flipping a
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| of who you are and what you may become.
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| | light switch may be one
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| For most of us
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| | of them. But there are other elements in
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| those false notions originate as we
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| | our environment
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| mature. In our very early
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| | over which we have absolutely no
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| attempts to achieve acceptance, we often
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| | control, nor should we.
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| trade off our real
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| | Attempting to change other people into
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| selves. The desire to be loved is so
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| | what we want them
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| strong that many of us
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| | to be by manipulating them is what many
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| give up love or respect for ourselves in
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| | of us have spent
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| order to obtain
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| | our lives doing.The best way in which
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| security. That trade-off never works,
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| | each of us can influence our
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| because what we are
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| | environment is in our presence of being.
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| insecure about in the first place exists
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| | When we accept
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| within ourselves.Happiness is a state of
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| | other people for who and what they are,
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| mind. The kingdom is within. The
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| | we have taken the
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| real you is a higher you, a higher power
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| | first step toward accepting ourselves
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| that resides within
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| | and contributing to the
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| you or is available to you whenever you
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| | improvement of any condition or
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| ask or seek. The fact
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| | situation. Krishnamurti
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| is, it is your birthright to manifest
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| | once stated that "you are the world."
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| the glory of the incredible
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| | When we reflect peace
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| you. You absolutely have the power and
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| | and joy from an inner level of being,
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| ability to experience
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| | the world mirrors it back
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| all the bounties of life, to experience
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| | to us. When we judge, condemn, hate,
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| many literal miracles in
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| | lust, and so on, the
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| your life -- for you yourself are a
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| | world shows us these qualities. The
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| miracle, and all that you are
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| | world is a mirror, for
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| or can ever be is a gift!So the first
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| | the principal function of the world is
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| fundamental is you. The power resides
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| | to provide us the
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| within
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| | opportunity to learn.What we resist we
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| you. No one else can do it for you. Your
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| | often become. What we like least in
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| thoughts are
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| | another is almost always a reflection of
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| reflections of your expectations. What
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| | something in
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| has been sown in
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| | ourselves. When we love and accept
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| your subconscious mind is what you reap.
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| | ourselves, we love and
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| Doubt produces
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| | accept others. Each individual who comes
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| failure, fear yields anger, and belief
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| | into our lives is a
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| in limitation is the
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| | teacher. Each has something to
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| greatest of all self-fulfilling
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| | contribute to our learning.
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| prophecies.FUNDAMENTAL 2The second
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| | We in turn have something to contribute
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| fundamental is that thoughts are things.
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| | to their learning.
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| The
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| | When viewed from this perspective, our
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| thoughts we have reveal the beliefs we
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| | every transaction
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| have about
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| | with another individual transcends the
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| ourselves.Listen to how we talk to
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| | limitations of
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| ourselves. Is the language from the
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| | manipulation.The fifth fundamental has
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| inside reflecting optimism, or is it
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| | been called the Golden Rule.
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| filled with negative and
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| | Treat others as though they were you,
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| self-limiting ideas?What you expect is
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| | and treat according to
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| what you get. Science refers to this
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| | the best you there is, and the rest just
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| phenomenon as the Pygmalion effect. It
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| | happens. What goes
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| is a fact: if you
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| | out is what you get back. Just as the
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| expect the worst, you get it. And some
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| | story in the Bible of the
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| of us must love it,
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| | prodigal son teaches us that God has
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| because we keep on getting it! Oh, we
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| | already accepted and
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| may complain about
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| | forgiven us, so this fundamental
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| it, we may yell and scream when it
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| | suggests that for many of
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| happens, but what do
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| | us the least of our brothers and sisters
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| most of us do about it? Most of us speak
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| | has been ourselves!
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| and act as though
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| | Accepting and loving ourselves provides
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| there is absolutely nothing we can do
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| | the ability to accept
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| about it. After all, isn't
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| | and love others, just as accepting and
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| life full of "normal" events that
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| | loving others
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| produce "normal" responses?
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| | provides the ability to accept and love
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| Isn't it normal to become angry for
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| | ourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 6Martin Luther King
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| being cut off in five o'clock
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| | once said, "I can never be what I ought
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| traffic? Isn't it normal to become
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| | to
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| fearful when the boss
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| | be until you are what you ought to be,
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| speaks harshly? Isn't it normal to be
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| | and you can never be
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| frustrated with a child's
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| | what you ought to be until I am what I
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| lack of respect or self-responsibility?
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| | ought to be." He went
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| Isn't it normal to
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| | on to say that the mutually related
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| become stuck or just fed up?Such
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| | network of reality is the
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| reactions may be normal, but are they
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| | fabric of the human condition.The sixth
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| appropriate or
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| | fundamental, then, is interdependence,
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| conducive to happiness? Has anger ever
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| | the
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| produced a
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| | principle that each of us is an aspect
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| peaceful sense of harmony within you?
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| | of the whole. Each of
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| Has it ever solved a
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| | us invites respect or disrespect
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| problem or led to anything other than
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| | according to what we give
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| more anger, guilt, and
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| | others, all others. Down through the
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| feelings of being out of control? Such
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| | ages this concept has
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| reactions may be
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| | been given many labels, including the
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| normal, but another word for normal is
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| | popular label karma.
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| average, which can
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| | In law it is called reciprocity. What we
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| be defined as the best of the worst and
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| | sow is indeed what
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| the worst of the best.
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| | we reap.Interdependence means
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| Neither end of this definition is the
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| | individually assuming
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| highest best of who you
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| | responsibility for any condition that is
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| really are.You are your thoughts. You
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| | contrary to the quality
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| manifest your thoughts, your
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| | of humanness in its highest form and
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| subconscious beliefs, in everything you
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| | then acting to
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| experience. Do you
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| | produce, out of the condition or
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| believe you deserve happiness,
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| | situation, balance and
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| wholeness, and success?
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| | harmony for all. That is not to say that
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| You must truly know at all levels of
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| | we take up causes
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| your being that all good
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| | and then shove them down someone else's
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| things are yours in order for them ever
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| | throat. It is to
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| to be yours. You
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| | say that we can work in harmony through
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| create your own realities. Events are
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| | example and right
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| not pivotal points in
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| | action to produce an environment that is
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| your life, you are the pivotal point in
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| | loving and
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| your life. When your
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| | nurturing for all.Many people operate in
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| thoughts are in agreement with your
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| | a codependent manner. Their
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| desires, your desires
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| | method of assuming responsibility is to
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| will magically materialize.FUNDAMENTAL
| |
| | manipulate others
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| 3The third fundamental is to forgive and
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| | by placing blame, finding fault, or
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| let go. That idea may
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| | assuming a contractual
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| be a bit startling at first, but think
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| | posture that goes like this: "If I do
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| about it for a minute. Do
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| | this, will you...?" or, "If you
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| you consider yourself to be a victim? A
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| | loved me, you would..." or, "Don't you
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| victim of your
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| | feel sorry that I feel..."
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| circumstances? Or are you willing to
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| | or, "You need me to...," and so on.
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| assume responsibility
| |
| | Codependence is
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| for who you are? There are two ways to
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| | manipulating another person to provide
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| be tied up in the
| |
| | you with security,
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| world. One is to be tied, literally, by
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| | sensation, and power. If someone else
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| someone else and the
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| | cannot live or
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| other is to tie yourself, figuratively,
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| | function without you, then your
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| by refusing to let go of
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| | self-worth has been validated
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| beliefs that limit your expression of
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| | -- and vice versa. A codependent is a
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| the whole and complete
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| | victim, a victim both of
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| being you are. In other words, as long
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| | his or her surroundings and of other
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| as you displace
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| | people. The need to
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| responsibility by blaming someone or
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| | control another person is a classic
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| something for who
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| | symptom of
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| and what you are, you remove from
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| | codependency. Codependency grows out of
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| yourself the power to be
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| | insecurity. All
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| anything other than partial and
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| | insecurities are externally oriented.
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| incomplete.All behavior is the result of
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| | The codependent sees
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| choice. Sometimes our choices
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| | stimuli through the lens of expectation.
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| are made at an unconscious or a
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| | Expectation is a
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| subconscious level. For
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| | contract that goes like this: "I will
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| example, we choose to avoid conflict by
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| | behave this way, if you
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| repressing our true
| |
| | behave this way;" or, "If you behave
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| feelings. Later our true feelings become
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| | that way, I will behave
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| so strong that we
| |
| | that way." The fear of unfulfilled
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| can no longer suppress them, and some
| |
| | expectations gives rise to
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| small incident
| |
| | internal conflict.Happiness is a state
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| triggers an overkill response. That is a
| |
| | of being. It exists moment to moment
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| reactive model -- we
| |
| | in the eternal now. If happiness doesn't
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| have lost control. When we assume
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| | exist, conflict takes
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| responsibility for every
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| | its place -- even if the conflict is
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| aspect of our lives, we get in touch
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| | only the difference between
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| with our deepest fears
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| | what we think we should be experiencing
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| and feelings. The power we gain over our
| |
| | and we are
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| former, reactive
| |
| | experiencing. In other words, when we
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| behavior, provides us with the ability
| |
| | have what we desire,
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| to respond
| |
| | we experience joy. Furthermore, when
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| appropriately to all stimuli. That is a
| |
| | what we experience
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| proactive model -- we
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| | is unconditional, as opposed to
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| are always in control.It has been said
| |
| | contractual, then we
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| that the highest act of consciousness is
| |
| | experience only joy.Insecurity fuels
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| inhibition - inhibition of animal
| |
| | fear, and fear is a very creative force.
|
| stimulus-response
| |
| | What
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| conditioning. When we accept
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| | we fear most is therefore very often
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| responsibility for our every
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| | what we create as our
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| thought and action, we empower ourselves
| |
| | experience. Instead of accepting what
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| by performing
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| | is, we project what
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| the highest act of consciousness:
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| | might be or lament what might have been.
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| inhibiting the animal
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| | We are
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| stimulus-response reaction. But that
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| | responsible only for ourselves
|
| means we no longer
| |
| | individually. We must be
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| have anyone to blame.In fact, as long as
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| | whole before any event in our lives will
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| we blame, we effectively eliminate our
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| | be. Therefore, true
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| ability to grow, to be in control, or to
| |
| | interdependence assumes the role of
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| experience peace,
| |
| | "fixing" oneself.FUNDAMENTAL 7The seventh
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| balance, and harmony. Power to grow
| |
| | fundamental is the culmination of all the
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| resides in
| |
| |
|
| forgiveness. Forgiving and letting go
| |
| | fundamentals of success. That
|
| will set us free.
| |
| | culminating principle is this:
|
| Forgiving everyone, including ourselves,
| |
| | Do it now. This is a world of action,
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| provides the
| |
| | not procrastination. For
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| opportunity to become more than we have
| |
| | anything to change, you must do the
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| been, which for
| |
| | changing. Nothing
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| many is but a mere shadow of our real
| |
| | happens until you make it happen! Only
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| selves. And the irony
| |
| | you can do it for you.If the world was a
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| of all this is that most of us know that
| |
| | world of theory, then none of us would be
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| we are much more
| |
| |
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| than we have acted out our lives to
| |
| | here. Nothing in this world stands still
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| be!FUNDAMENTAL 4The most powerful force
| |
| | or waits. No action is
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| in the world is love. Love cancels
| |
| | inaction and all inaction is action. The
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| fear. Fear is the only obstacle that
| |
| | form and the function
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| must be overcome in
| |
| | are the same. Live with the awareness
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| order for all of our experiences to take
| |
| | that God's presence
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| on new dimensions
| |
| | exists in all!(Note: This article was
|
| of meaning and joy. This love is not
| |
| | originally published in MIND BODY
|
| romantic love between
| |
| | SPIRIT).Eldon Taylor, Ph.D. is the
|
| lovers but the unconditional love that
| |
| | author of over 400 books, tapes
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| we give our children.
| |
| | and videos ( His work in personal
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| We are all children in some relative
| |
| | empowerment led to receiving the coveted
|
| stage of development,
| |
| | International
|
| learning how to live in joy and
| |
| | Peace Prize awarded by The United
|
| happiness. When we truly
| |
| | Cultural Convention in
|
| understand this truth, it becomes easy
| |
| | 2005. He is currently the director of
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| to forgive another of
| |
| | Progressive Awareness
|
| acts that are selfish and self-centered
| |
| | Research.
|
| -- and forgive
| |
| |
|
