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The Seven Fundamentals of Happiness and Success

What is success? Have you ever wondered why
it is that for				ourselves, as well. "Above all else, respect
				thyself," said
some, everything works, and for others,
nothing works? Why				Pythagoras. In order to love others, we must
				first love
is it that two people can have essentially
the same				ourselves. We cannot pour from an empty
				container.Contemporary studies of behavioral
opportunities, but one person be happy and				dysfunctions ranging
the other one
				from learning difficulties to criminal
miserable? Is it not, therefore, happiness				activity indicate one
that constitutes
				common denominator: low self-esteem. Low
the true meaning of success?Success is				self-esteem
happiness! Truly successful people are happy,
				grows out of fear of rejection -- rejection
				by a loved one, an
and when you are happy and whole in
yourself, all good				employer, a stranger, anyone who might laugh
				at our efforts
things follow. Where then do happiness and
wholeness				or who would misunderstand or disapprove. On
				the other
come from? How does a person who experiences
				hand, high self-esteem grows out of
				self-acceptance.
frustrations in life become whole? Can
personal wholeness				Self-acceptance is self-love. Self-esteem
				comes from
provide happiness, improve self-esteem, and
lead to riches				self-love. We cannot love anyone unless we
				love ourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 5The fifth
and fame, peace balance and harmony? Can				fundamental is that acceptance is mastery.
relationships				Loving

with family, friends and associates be				unconditionally suggests accepting others as
improved because				they are.

one person assumes the responsibility to be				Furthermore, loving unconditionally suggests
personally				accepting

whole, takes the initiative to exude joy and				yourself as a whole and complete being on
happiness,				the journey of

seizes the opportunity to empower his or her				learning we call life.Acceptance, love, and
own life by				forgiveness are as necessarily

using the secret of the ages? The answers to				interrelated as each side of a triangle is
all these				to the triangle as a

questions lie in the seven fundamentals of				whole. Acceptance is the natural process we
the master				knew as

secret.FUNDAMENTAL 1The first fundamental is				children. When light faded into night, each
you - the absolutely awesome and				of us accepted

incredible you! Not the you of self-doubt,				that this just was the way it worked, and we
not the you that				learned to live

fears rejection or failure, not the you that				accordingly. As we grew older we began to
questions your				manipulate our

abilities, but the real you! Those other				world by means of electricity. Some things
"yous" are not you.				in the world can

They are synthetic yous built upon limited				and even should be manipulated to our
and false notions				benefit -- turning the

of who you are and what you may become. For				dark into a bright space by flipping a light
most of us				switch may be one

those false notions originate as we mature.				of them. But there are other elements in our
In our very early				environment

attempts to achieve acceptance, we often				over which we have absolutely no control,
trade off our real				nor should we.

selves. The desire to be loved is so strong				Attempting to change other people into what
that many of us				we want them

give up love or respect for ourselves in				to be by manipulating them is what many of
order to obtain				us have spent

security. That trade-off never works,				our lives doing.The best way in which each
because what we are				of us can influence our

insecure about in the first place exists				environment is in our presence of being.
within ourselves.Happiness is a state of				When we accept
mind. The kingdom is within. The
				other people for who and what they are, we
real you is a higher you, a higher power				have taken the
that resides within
				first step toward accepting ourselves and
you or is available to you whenever you ask				contributing to the
or seek. The fact
				improvement of any condition or situation.
is, it is your birthright to manifest the				Krishnamurti
glory of the incredible
				once stated that "you are the world." When
you. You absolutely have the power and				we reflect peace
ability to experience
				and joy from an inner level of being, the
all the bounties of life, to experience many				world mirrors it back
literal miracles in
				to us. When we judge, condemn, hate, lust,
your life -- for you yourself are a miracle,				and so on, the
and all that you are
				world shows us these qualities. The world is
or can ever be is a gift!So the first				a mirror, for
fundamental is you. The power resides within
				the principal function of the world is to
you. No one else can do it for you. Your				provide us the
thoughts are
				opportunity to learn.What we resist we often
reflections of your expectations. What has				become. What we like least in
been sown in
				another is almost always a reflection of
your subconscious mind is what you reap.				something in
Doubt produces
				ourselves. When we love and accept
failure, fear yields anger, and belief in				ourselves, we love and
limitation is the
				accept others. Each individual who comes
greatest of all self-fulfilling				into our lives is a
prophecies.FUNDAMENTAL 2The second
fundamental is that thoughts are things. The				teacher. Each has something to contribute to
				our learning.
thoughts we have reveal the beliefs we have
about				We in turn have something to contribute to
				their learning.
ourselves.Listen to how we talk to
ourselves. Is the language from the				When viewed from this perspective, our every
				transaction
inside reflecting optimism, or is it filled
with negative and				with another individual transcends the
				limitations of
self-limiting ideas?What you expect is what
you get. Science refers to this				manipulation.The fifth fundamental has been
				called the Golden Rule.
phenomenon as the Pygmalion effect. It is a
fact: if you				Treat others as though they were you, and
				treat according to
expect the worst, you get it. And some of us
must love it,				the best you there is, and the rest just
				happens. What goes
because we keep on getting it! Oh, we may
complain about				out is what you get back. Just as the story
				in the Bible of the
it, we may yell and scream when it happens,
but what do				prodigal son teaches us that God has already
				accepted and
most of us do about it? Most of us speak and
act as though				forgiven us, so this fundamental suggests
				that for many of
there is absolutely nothing we can do about
it. After all, isn't				us the least of our brothers and sisters has
				been ourselves!
life full of "normal" events that produce
"normal" responses?				Accepting and loving ourselves provides the
				ability to accept
Isn't it normal to become angry for being
cut off in five o'clock				and love others, just as accepting and
				loving others
traffic? Isn't it normal to become fearful
when the boss				provides the ability to accept and love
				ourselves.FUNDAMENTAL 6Martin Luther King
speaks harshly? Isn't it normal to be				once said, "I can never be what I ought to
frustrated with a child's
				be until you are what you ought to be, and
lack of respect or self-responsibility?				you can never be
Isn't it normal to
				what you ought to be until I am what I ought
become stuck or just fed up?Such reactions				to be." He went
may be normal, but are they appropriate or
				on to say that the mutually related network
conducive to happiness? Has anger ever				of reality is the
produced a
				fabric of the human condition.The sixth
peaceful sense of harmony within you? Has it				fundamental, then, is interdependence, the
ever solved a
				principle that each of us is an aspect of
problem or led to anything other than more				the whole. Each of
anger, guilt, and
				us invites respect or disrespect according
feelings of being out of control? Such				to what we give
reactions may be
				others, all others. Down through the ages
normal, but another word for normal is				this concept has
average, which can
				been given many labels, including the
be defined as the best of the worst and the				popular label karma.
worst of the best.
				In law it is called reciprocity. What we sow
Neither end of this definition is the				is indeed what
highest best of who you
				we reap.Interdependence means individually
really are.You are your thoughts. You				assuming
manifest your thoughts, your
				responsibility for any condition that is
subconscious beliefs, in everything you				contrary to the quality
experience. Do you
				of humanness in its highest form and then
believe you deserve happiness, wholeness,				acting to
and success?
				produce, out of the condition or situation,
You must truly know at all levels of your				balance and
being that all good
				harmony for all. That is not to say that we
things are yours in order for them ever to				take up causes
be yours. You
				and then shove them down someone else's
create your own realities. Events are not				throat. It is to
pivotal points in
				say that we can work in harmony through
your life, you are the pivotal point in your				example and right
life. When your
				action to produce an environment that is
thoughts are in agreement with your desires,				loving and
your desires
				nurturing for all.Many people operate in a
will magically materialize.FUNDAMENTAL 3The				codependent manner. Their
third fundamental is to forgive and let go.
That idea may				method of assuming responsibility is to
				manipulate others
be a bit startling at first, but think about
it for a minute. Do				by placing blame, finding fault, or assuming
				a contractual
you consider yourself to be a victim? A
victim of your				posture that goes like this: "If I do this,
				will you...?" or, "If you
circumstances? Or are you willing to assume
responsibility				loved me, you would..." or, "Don't you feel
				sorry that I feel..."
for who you are? There are two ways to be
tied up in the				or, "You need me to...," and so on.
				Codependence is
world. One is to be tied, literally, by
someone else and the				manipulating another person to provide you
				with security,
other is to tie yourself, figuratively, by
refusing to let go of				sensation, and power. If someone else cannot
				live or
beliefs that limit your expression of the
whole and complete				function without you, then your self-worth
				has been validated
being you are. In other words, as long as
you displace				-- and vice versa. A codependent is a
				victim, a victim both of
responsibility by blaming someone or
something for who				his or her surroundings and of other people.
				The need to
and what you are, you remove from yourself
the power to be				control another person is a classic symptom
				of
anything other than partial and
incomplete.All behavior is the result of				codependency. Codependency grows out of
choice. Sometimes our choices				insecurity. All

are made at an unconscious or a subconscious				insecurities are externally oriented. The
level. For				codependent sees

example, we choose to avoid conflict by				stimuli through the lens of expectation.
repressing our true				Expectation is a

feelings. Later our true feelings become so				contract that goes like this: "I will behave
strong that we				this way, if you

can no longer suppress them, and some small				behave this way;" or, "If you behave that
incident				way, I will behave

triggers an overkill response. That is a				that way." The fear of unfulfilled
reactive model -- we				expectations gives rise to

have lost control. When we assume				internal conflict.Happiness is a state of
responsibility for every				being. It exists moment to moment

aspect of our lives, we get in touch with				in the eternal now. If happiness doesn't
our deepest fears				exist, conflict takes

and feelings. The power we gain over our				its place -- even if the conflict is only
former, reactive				the difference between

behavior, provides us with the ability to				what we think we should be experiencing and
respond				we are

appropriately to all stimuli. That is a				experiencing. In other words, when we have
proactive model -- we				what we desire,

are always in control.It has been said that				we experience joy. Furthermore, when what we
the highest act of consciousness is				experience

inhibition - inhibition of animal				is unconditional, as opposed to contractual,
stimulus-response				then we

conditioning. When we accept responsibility				experience only joy.Insecurity fuels fear,
for our every				and fear is a very creative force. What

thought and action, we empower ourselves by				we fear most is therefore very often what we
performing				create as our

the highest act of consciousness: inhibiting				experience. Instead of accepting what is, we
the animal				project what

stimulus-response reaction. But that means				might be or lament what might have been. We
we no longer				are

have anyone to blame.In fact, as long as we				responsible only for ourselves individually.
blame, we effectively eliminate our				We must be

ability to grow, to be in control, or to				whole before any event in our lives will be.
experience peace,				Therefore, true

balance, and harmony. Power to grow resides				interdependence assumes the role of "fixing"
in				oneself.FUNDAMENTAL 7The seventh fundamental
				is the culmination of all the
forgiveness. Forgiving and letting go will
set us free.				fundamentals of success. That culminating
				principle is this:
Forgiving everyone, including ourselves,
provides the				Do it now. This is a world of action, not
				procrastination. For
opportunity to become more than we have
been, which for				anything to change, you must do the
				changing. Nothing
many is but a mere shadow of our real
selves. And the irony				happens until you make it happen! Only you
				can do it for you.If the world was a world of
of all this is that most of us know that we				theory, then none of us would be
are much more
				here. Nothing in this world stands still or
than we have acted out our lives to				waits. No action is
be!FUNDAMENTAL 4The most powerful force in
the world is love. Love cancels				inaction and all inaction is action. The
				form and the function
fear. Fear is the only obstacle that must be
overcome in				are the same. Live with the awareness that
				God's presence
order for all of our experiences to take on
new dimensions				exists in all!(Note: This article was
				originally published in MIND BODY
of meaning and joy. This love is not
romantic love between				SPIRIT).Eldon Taylor, Ph.D. is the author of
				over 400 books, tapes
lovers but the unconditional love that we
give our children.				and videos ( His work in personal

We are all children in some relative stage				empowerment led to receiving the coveted
of development,				International

learning how to live in joy and happiness.				Peace Prize awarded by The United Cultural
When we truly				Convention in

understand this truth, it becomes easy to				2005. He is currently the director of
forgive another of				Progressive Awareness

acts that are selfish and self-centered --				Research.
and forgive

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